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The Dark Knight Falls Flat: My Top 10 Reasons Why It Didn’t Really Rise.

So I watched The Dark Knight Rises. I was hopped up on all the madness, but the movie turned out, well, read on….

My top 10 reasons why TDKR was such a snoozefest:

  1. Bane’s big idea of bankrupting Bruce Wayne by “attacking” the stock market and doing some computing magic. If that’s what it takes to bankrupt a millionaire, then I’m game to swindle the Ambanis!
  2. Bane. The previous villain, The Joker, was amazing. Bane was masked up the entire movie and I wasn’t able to make out half of what he was saying. More scenes sans mask would have been interesting.
  3. The airplane scene in the beginning. It looked too Inception-ey; it felt like Nolan is paying homage to his own film. The actors were also quite stoic. The Dark Knight, on the other hand, had a kick-ass intro. Even the bank manager had pitched in.
  4. The Batplane. Sure it looked cool and was loud and all. But it somehow reminded me of a Transformer banished from Cybertron.
  5. The reticence and reclusiveness of Bruce Wayne. Why is he so sulky in all three Nolan’s Batman films?
  6. Catwoman. She should have remained badass even in the end. It was a really good role, but Catwoman ending up in a relationship-of-sorts with Batman?!
  7. A prison inside a well where there is actually a person designated to help you escape. They should have put Morgan Freeman there and make him relive his Shawshank Redemption days.
  8. Bane’s takeover of Gotham for five months. Five months! What’ll he do there for that long? Do the lecture circuit?
  9. The mysterious and finally evil Miranda what’s-her-name played by Marion Cotillard. That’s bad casting, right there. She has played sweet roles throughout her career and she just couldn’t play evil hag role convincingly.
  10. Finally, Batman’s freaking identity is known to half the people in the movie! Catwoman knows it. Blake the cop knows it. The commissioner almost guesses it. Bane and ALL his henchmen know it (through that ridiculous melee scene where Bane characteristically rips off Batman’s mask).

So, it’s a two thumbs down for the movie. Maybe one can watch it just to complete the trilogy. But to live the Dark Knight experience again? Meh.

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UPDATE: Here’s another list I just found dissing The Dark Knight Rises, just to make you guys mad 😀 http://movieline.com/2012/07/23/dark-knight-rises-plot-holes-9-logical-problems/

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