The Dark Knight Falls Flat: My Top 10 Reasons Why It Didn’t Really Rise.

So I watched The Dark Knight Rises. I was hopped up on all the madness, but the movie turned out, well, read on….

My top 10 reasons why TDKR was such a snoozefest:

  1. Bane’s big idea of bankrupting Bruce Wayne by “attacking” the stock market and doing some computing magic. If that’s what it takes to bankrupt a millionaire, then I’m game to swindle the Ambanis!
  2. Bane. The previous villain, The Joker, was amazing. Bane was masked up the entire movie and I wasn’t able to make out half of what he was saying. More scenes sans mask would have been interesting.
  3. The airplane scene in the beginning. It looked too Inception-ey; it felt like Nolan is paying homage to his own film. The actors were also quite stoic. The Dark Knight, on the other hand, had a kick-ass intro. Even the bank manager had pitched in.
  4. The Batplane. Sure it looked cool and was loud and all. But it somehow reminded me of a Transformer banished from Cybertron.
  5. The reticence and reclusiveness of Bruce Wayne. Why is he so sulky in all three Nolan’s Batman films?
  6. Catwoman. She should have remained badass even in the end. It was a really good role, but Catwoman ending up in a relationship-of-sorts with Batman?!
  7. A prison inside a well where there is actually a person designated to help you escape. They should have put Morgan Freeman there and make him relive his Shawshank Redemption days.
  8. Bane’s takeover of Gotham for five months. Five months! What’ll he do there for that long? Do the lecture circuit?
  9. The mysterious and finally evil Miranda what’s-her-name played by Marion Cotillard. That’s bad casting, right there. She has played sweet roles throughout her career and she just couldn’t play evil hag role convincingly.
  10. Finally, Batman’s freaking identity is known to half the people in the movie! Catwoman knows it. Blake the cop knows it. The commissioner almost guesses it. Bane and ALL his henchmen know it (through that ridiculous melee scene where Bane characteristically rips off Batman’s mask).

So, it’s a two thumbs down for the movie. Maybe one can watch it just to complete the trilogy. But to live the Dark Knight experience again? Meh.

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UPDATE: Here’s another list I just found dissing The Dark Knight Rises, just to make you guys mad 😀 http://movieline.com/2012/07/23/dark-knight-rises-plot-holes-9-logical-problems/

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7 thoughts on “The Dark Knight Falls Flat: My Top 10 Reasons Why It Didn’t Really Rise.

  1. Vikas

    1. Re: Bane bankrupting Bruce – It was merely a short term ploy to get access to the fusion reactors. I can see how it would work as Bruce had gained a reputation of having a few screws loose after going into hiding and people knowing Bruce coming could work either ways.
    2. Bane, I thought, did as good a job as the character allowed him to. His voice sounds the way it does because he is supposed to have undergone some sort of operation and speaks through a mask.
    3. I personally liked the intro. To each his own.
    4. Now it looks like you just picked up anything to make up the numbers.
    5. Bruce Wayne’s the mask. He does not have a life. Being an orphan and dedicated your life to justice sort of does that to people.
    6. Catwoman is never completely badass in any version of Batman, be it the comics or any of the prior movies. The Bruce and Selena relationship is always on and off. I’m glad Nolan took it one step further. PS – Bruce marries Selena in one of the parallel versions of the comics as well.
    7. You are missing the point of the prison then. Nobody had escaped the prison other than Talia. It is very hellish indeed. Nothing sets you up for disappointment better than expectation. Hope is a real bitch.
    8. Bane doesn’t take over Gotham. He gives it back to the people. Brings it back to how it was before the Dent Act, before Batman. A hell-hole with the corrupt prospering. Bane merely took pleasure in watching Gotham destroy itself/
    9. Miranda Tate was the wife in Inception. She gave me goosebumps there. I agree the character portrayal was not good enough. That’s down to Nolan. I think she could have been used better.
    10.You’ve only just listed half a dozen people. How’s that half the people. In a city of a million. The entire League of Shadows knew it even before TDKR. So Bane and his henchman don’t count and neither does Miranda. Only two additional characters learned of his identity. And these characters are integral to the trilogy

    I loved the movie. Anti-Nolanism is blasphemy in my eyes. Seen it twice already and two more shows lined up over the course of the week. Cheers!

    Reply
    1. Abhinand Post author

      1. Agree. Follows my point #5.
      1. The stock-market ploy was too frivolous. If you have watched The Departed, it was like that microprocessors bit; it didn’t seem to contribute to the whole thing.
      2. Bane’s voice was supposed to be gruffy, yes. But even Darth Vader was masked. His voice was cooler and memorable. (James Earl Jones did not play the character and it was voiced outside. But it sounded like how a villain should sound)
      3. Yes. To each his own is beautiful.
      4. There are no numbers in that 🙂 I just compared it with another familiar thing.
      5. He’s quite affluent now. He must have a fun life. And Blake is also an orphan and is a cop. But you don’t see him whining.
      6. If it must be like the comic, it should be a no-holds-barred adaptation; it should not be inspired by the comic. It felt like Nolan’s bits into the movie were not as interesting as what would otherwise be there in the comic.
      7. Yeah, it is a hellish prison. That was made evident. But it was made too evident, you know? They could have made it visually more dark and dingy and filled with rats and filth, etc. It’s just that keeping a man who aids your escape was too show-offy.
      8. The Dent Act actually helped Gotham. Why should it always be portrayed as a hellish, grim city? Where is Gotham’s redemption, other than The Batman. I agree that that would not be what the comics are all about. But for the silver screen, a basic mixture of happy and sad would be nice.
      9. I actually was kinda excited the 1st time I saw Cotillard in the movie. But it was a letdown afterwards.
      10. I meant half the people who matter in the movie. Other Gothamites don’t really count since they are always looking for a saviour. All those characters you mentioned (the League, Bane, Miranda) do count. They are the primary villains.

      I like his movies too 🙂 Like The Prestige, Inception, Batman 1 & 2, but this one didn’t live up to the hype given during the publicity. I honestly wanted it to be more violent (that is the running theme in many movies and TV shows now, isn’t it!)

      Reply
  2. Suyash Kumar

    Very well written no doubt but in the end, it proves one and only one thing, you haven’t read a single Batman comic. Every superhero movie is made, taking into consideration that no matter how realistic it is, it has to be as faithful an adaption of the canon as possible. More than half of the viewership would be lost if that isn’t done. Christopher Nolan has simply tried to make a trilogy of movies which while is a loose adaptation of the comic series is also watchable and understandable by the non-comic-geeks. In the end, he has been tremendously successful at appeasing the die-hard comic fans and most non-comic readers.
    Infact, I can apply every single one of those points to “The Dark Knight” but simply don’t want to because I loved the Trilogy as fantastical as it might be. Snoozefest is definitely a bit too harsh.

    Reply
    1. Abhinand Post author

      The post was not set out to prove anything. It’s pretty obvious I have read few Batman comics, no great conclusion you have made there 🙂 But it’s a movie shown on the screen and must be made for the non-comic reader audience you go on to mention. But still if it proves that I have not read the comic, then it’s not true because I have read 2 or 3 way back when I was a kid, which I hardly remember. Besides, even if I had read more comics and more recently done it, I would have probably been much more critical, or much more laudatory, depending on my inner fan. So that was clearly not the aim of this post 🙂 I just wrote what I felt after the movie.

      The movie itself could have been made much better, that’s what I am saying. You can easily understand from the post that I am not preaching faith to the comic. But if it is made into a movie, it must live up to the expectations set by its predecessors. This movie was marketed as such. And I disagree that Nolan has been “tremendously successful.” Maybe he has been to you, but definitely not to me, a “non-comic” reader.

      I specifically put Snoozefest because some sections in the movie bored me a lot; like some idle time between Bane’s takeover of Gotham and Batman’s heroic rescue, the last bits with Miranda, etc.

      All in all, it didn’t have a solid story. If the director sets out to adapt a book, he must either adapt it completely or put in some truly interesting and memorable moments; none of which was made here.

      Reply
  3. shruthi k r

    awesome bro 🙂 very well written 🙂 though i have not seen both the movies i enjoyed your piece 😀

    Reply

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